Monday, March 30, 2009


I use to and still think that death ironically brings beauty to life. That when death is prevalent, life gets that much more precious. I go into times of contemplation and reflection when death happens. But I've also seen that loss can take another form as well. Loss of a friendship or a relationship is just as hard... and can bring just as much reflection on the beauty of life. Life is not meant to be lived from one appointment to another. It is not meant to burden you. It is not meant to weigh us down with obligations and meetings. Life is freedom. Think of the people you've lost. Remember their spirits of freedom. Remember their laughter. Their love. Remember the way you felt with them.

My Aunt Evie. My Aunt Evie is dancing with the Lord right now. Dancing with Uncle Bill. It was only in the last few months that I learned the significance of Aunt Evie's life. I saw that through the tears of my mother. Aunt Evie meant alot to my mom. It was hard to see her in Eden Home, bed-ridden at times. But, you know? The last time I got to see my Aunt Evie, she was smiling. Sure she was hard of hearing, but she had accepted where she was and was making the best of it. She played cards, talked with friends, and could still enjoy the sunshine. Even if her body was failing her, she still kept that spirit alive. You could see it in her eyes. She was part of a sorority. Did you know that? One time my roommates and I looked through her sorority book... they had so much fun. I remember playing in her backyard when we were all younger. I loved the grass and the back steps. There are many pictures throughout the generations taken on those steps.

So what about these losses? I could let them eat me alive and spiral myself into a depression with no silver lining. I could retreat from life, from friendships, from relationships as to never have to get close to anyone ever again. After all, when you get close is when hurt has the most potential. But what kind of a life is that? No. Instead, I'm going to charge full steam ahead with my relationships. I'm going to risk that hurt, that loss. Living everyday like I'm going to die doesn't mean doing every extreme thing imaginable. To me it means pouring as much of myself into others' lives that they could better know the love and mercy God has given me freely. In the face of death, I want to breathe life into people. It doesn't mean I have to go around like a crazy person preaching the Gospel or go on far-off missions to reach the lost. It means living WITH people right here. Right where you are. And not half-assing this life. But putting yourself out there because you know that God is in you and constantly surrounding your being. I can love and care for people because God first does so for me. I am nothing apart from Him.

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