Saturday, August 29, 2009

dark night

So my life has been jammed pack with different events here and there... and I'm ready for a night just to do nothing. I haven't had one of those in a long time. And I need those nights for sanity. People definitely give me energy but too much "doing" drains me... and I'm in need of just a little sanity, eh?

This summer has been interesting for me and that's probably the reason I haven't blogged much. When times are hard, I tend to keep every deep and intimate detail to myself... which means no blogging. There's something inside of me that never wants my full identity to come out online... and I don't think that's a bad thing. Censorship can save lives.

I've met alot of new people at seminary recently and it has re-inspired me to question why I love what I am doing here so much. Sometimes I feel as though I am a debbie downer because I talk about how hard seminary can be. But I'm only offering what I know. I almost didn't come back this semester... but regardless of how much I resisted, it would have taken alot more for me not to come back.

My faith is truly strong right now. I won't lie, I question whether or not I'm in a "dark night of the soul" which I am OK with. If God is providentially turning his back on me, then that is what needs to happen. But I do long for the day when I feel his overwhelming presence. I don't know if I've really felt that for awhile.

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