Monday, June 8, 2009


I don't know what exactly I'm about to write because this is coming from the heart...

I've learned to embrace that I am a crier. Those years of being made fun of for being a "sensitive" guy make it so worth being able to truly feel things in life. Whether it's an inspiring story, dance, or song, listening to someone's hardships and struggles, or even thinking about both the glory and the woes of life, I can tear up. And I embrace it. Sometimes I don't have the words to express what I want to say and so I cry. Sometimes my prayers fall into God's heart through my tears. Sometimes it's my wrath and misunderstanding. Sometimes I cry out of fear. Sometimes out of hurt. And sometimes out of being so overwhelmed by who God is. As I'm writing this I feel that all-too-familiar buildup of tears. This past year has been one of the most redemptive. I've done alot of bad in my life and I've been the survivor of alot of bad from other people. And that's OK. Without that bad, I would never know how good the Good is. I've spent years beating myself up for things I couldn't forgive myself for, but I've learned to rest in God's arms. Without him I don't know how I would be here. I don't have all things figured out. I keep feeling like I have so much else to learn. But I know the power of God and his love and resurrection. And for that I don't regret any hurt I've caused or received. Because God's redemptive power is only apparent through the suffering.

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